I am a daughter of San Francisco, California, although I now live just outside Boston. I am not in that foggy city and its hilly, boxy suburbs, and so I am someone who thinks about those places often. I am usually stuck questioning the stories I have been told about this city: why must we build without ceasing, why must we endanger the world in order to tell a better sci-fi story, why must we pervert what is good and beautiful in search of power, what does it mean to create art and what does it mean to create technology and what separates the two? I am far from an answer.
I am not a good programmer and will never call myself one, but I know and am learning much more than I have displayed on this simple, simple website, and I am trying to at the very least make something bad to show you the kind of person I am instead of letting the machine make you something good that is not mine (I do not mind when others do this, but this website is meant to represent something about my being which I do not yet understand). I am and have always been obsessed with the old internet because people used to share what they loved here in such an anti-algorithmic manner; this is the kind of thing I discovered when I was first exploring the web on the giant library monitors as a kid, and this is the kind of thing I enjoy looking for in my free time now. I am an unrepentant hater of the algorithm.
I am an actress sometimes, although I am usually telling the truth even when I am onstage. I am someone who understands fiction to contain a great deal of truth, and so I can stand in a black box theater with a backwards baseball cap on and pretend to be Matt Damon and still feel like every word I am saying is accurate. I am not a liar in my real life, but standing in front of a crowd and being another person for ninety minutes has a tendency to change things.
I am not a real writer, although I would like to be one eventually, and I take no comfort in my creative writing teacher’s insistence that I am one simply for having written before. I am, however, writing a book, and I am the guardian of a blog, and I write essays in my free time and review books (most of what you'll see on here coming up is from the lengthy backlog of book reviews I keep in my journal).
I am a big fan of Turkey and also of thinking about doom (essays linked here!) and occasionally of rebirth and the cosmos and doom as they relate to rivers. I am a big fan of rivers and I live right by one. I am an ardent adorer of the Middle Ages, although I remembered this only around a year ago after a lengthy period of dormancy since my youthful fascination with Steinbeck's King Arthur. I am characterized in many ways by being a lover of things, whether of Fashion Week (I keep a note in my phone full of reviews) or of rock climbing or of jazz guitar or of mythology, and I have two postcards with caricatures of Joan Didion and Marcel Proust on my nightstand. I am still in high school and my greatest regret is not having taken Latin these past four years because now, a decade having gone by since my early childhood, I still can't read the Book of Kells.
I am making this website so that I can tell you, whoever you are, something new about myself, so I can add one more human voice to this dead internet. I am making this website hoping that you will read it. I am careening through space, through creeks and woods and even peninsulas, through archives of manuscripts that dance through my dreams, through entire libraries, through history, toward the singularity of some new renaissance. I am rolling along on a collision course with time. I am racing myself to the future.